I Want to Know What Love Is
by RPG Girl
Summary: Aisabel grew up in the Circle Tower her whole life. She spent most of her time reading books in the library. Being unable to travel out of the tower, she would dream of herself in the fantasies of her books. One such fantasy being Romance. There were tons of men in the tower, but none could carry on a conversation with her. That is, until she met Owain: a tranquil with no emotions.
1. Prologue

Aisabel had spent her whole life in the Circle Tower of Magi, training in the ways of magic.

Growing up in libraries, she spent her free time reading books about adventure and romance.

Because mages were forbidden to leave the tower, adventure was out of the question, so her adventures came to her through her dreams.

Romance, however, wasn't impossible to acquire.

There were hundreds of mages and templars in the Circle Tower whom she could get to know.

Having reached her eighteenth year of living, she felt that she was old enough for romance.

Most of the girls whom she knew were just fine toying around with anyone who would toy with them.

But, she was the complete opposite.

She wanted a man whom was both intellectual and intelligent.

A man whom she could have both romance and a conversation with.

Most of the men she met in the tower were boring and bland.

A lot of the mages were too scared of their power.

And, most of the templars recited their teachings towards her whenever she tried to begin a conversation with them.

Life was quite boring for her in the tower when it came to talking to others.

That's why she spent most of her time reading.

* * *

**After a failed attempt at talking about the workings of magic with a fellow apprentice named Anders, she had taken to wandering the halls.**

**When not reading, she was exploring the tower, looking for possible secrets or hidden rooms.**

**On this particular night, she had stumbled into the Circle's Magical Stockroom in hopes that she could get past Owain.**

**She felt that there was a possibility that rare and interesting artifacts could be found in the storeroom, if only she could get in.**

* * *

Owain was the "guard" as well as keeper of the Circle's Stockroom.

He was also a mage known as a tranquil; a person who subjects themselves to the Rite of Tranquility instead of the usual test most mages took.

She, herself, had been given the option of the Rite of Tranquility.

But, wanting to keep her emotions, she went through with her Harrowing test and passed.

The Harrowing pitted her against the fade and demons with nothing but her will and knowledge of magic as her protection.

She had to walk through the fade and face a demon, but withstand it from taking over her body.

While she found it somewhat easy, she could see why others would be scared of the test.

But, she could never find it scary enough to lose all emotions for the rest of her life...


	2. Chapter 1

**She cautiously approached the stockroom.**

**"...Just act casual.." she says, approaching the entrance to the stockroom.**

**A man dressed in a plain brown robe with brown hair and bright blue eyes makes his way out of the stockroom and approaches her.**

**"Welcome to the Circle's Stockroom of magical items. My name is Owain. May I help you?" he says monotonously.**

**"Hello.. Is that how you greet people every time, Owain?" she says, holding out her hand for him to shake.**

**Owain looks down at her hand and grips it, then releases it,"Do you find my greeting disagreeable?"**

**"No.. it's just odd! Every time I come here you say the same thing." Aisabel shrugs,"It's almost as if you don't remember anyone."**

**"I have thoughts and memories. I remember my childhood and my apprenticeship in the tower..." Owain says, straight faced.**

**"I didn't mean to say you don't remember anyone.." Aisabel begins.**

**"These memories are what define me. My lack of emotion simply adds to this." Owain says matter of factly.**

**"I'm sorry.. it's just.. boring. Don't you have any other greeting?" Aisabel asks him.**

**"I'm sorry you find my greeting disagreeable, but I'm not inclined to change it." Owain says with a blink.**

**Aisabel sighs,"How are you able to stand being emotionless?"**

**"I find this state agreeable. Tranquility has its merits." Owain says simply.**

**"I bet it does.." Aisabel says with a smirk.**

**"I see the world with clarity. Before, my mind was clouded. Now, things are simple." Owain continues.**

**"And, now, you're not human." Aisabel says, rolling her eyes.**

**What could be considered a hint of anger, flashes for a brief second in Owain's eyes.**

**"My body contains the same number of limbs, appendages, and internal organs as yours does." Owain says.**

**"Oh, god, here we go again..." Aisabel says, annoyed.**

**"My body performs the same functions as yours does. My mind is capable of higher thought processes" Owain continues.**

**Aisabel mocks him as he continues talking.**

**"Am I to be denied person hood because I do not feel the same way as you do?" he says a little less straight faced.**

**Aisabel rolls her eyes.**

**"People feel differently than others. Some people are more empathetic and some anger easily." he continues.**

**Aisabel sighs, having heard this same speech several times before, when she used to mock him for fun.**

**"My capacity to feel differs from yours as yours differs from others. Yet, you are no more a person than others as I am no less a person than you are." he says.**

**"Yet, I would never single out another and accuse him of not being a person.. yeah, yeah, yeah.. I know" Aisabel says annoyed.**

**"Personhood is not measurable. I believe I am still a person." Owain says before walking away from her.**

**Aisabel sighs as she watches him walk away.**

**A feeling of regret overcomes her as she can't help but feel that he would be what you'd consider upset for a trainquil.**

**"I'm sorry to have offended you! Please come back, Owain!" she calls after him.**

**Owain turns around and walks back to her,"I do not have the capacity to be offended. Still, I believe I am a person."**

**Aisabel smiles a little,"That, you are.. tranquility is just a strange concept for me to understand."**

**"I can see why you'd be confused. Tranquility cannot be truly understood by one who is not tranquil." Owain says.**

**Aisabel's eyes widen in shock at him having said something outside of his usual speech.**

**"What was the Rite of Tranquility like?" she asks him curiously.**

**"I was ordered to never speak of it. I cannot go against the Circle's wishes." Owain says, simply.**

**Aisabel sighs, wishing that he had spoken to her about it; hoping that he would have been able to provide her with an intellectual conversation.**

**"However, it is difficult to describe. I shall perhaps compare it to being plunged into a pool of ice cold water." Owain says, out of the blue.**

**Owain's last sentence causes her to be taken aback.**

**"Why did you volunteer for the Rite of Tranquility?" she asks him, curiously; her excitement beginning to grow inside of her.**

**_"Could it be happening?! Could he be actually having a conversation with me?!" she thinks excitedly._**

**"The Harrowing seemed too difficult to pass. The idea of facing demons unarmed was a challenge. So, I chose the easier of the two." Owain explains.**

**"Why didn't you just try? It couldn't have been worth it..." Aisabel says, folding her arms.**

**"If I had failed my Harrowing I would be dead. Tranquility was a better option than possible death." Owain explains.**

**Aisabel nods her head in agreement,"I can see what you mean.. That was quite an interesting reasoning behind your choice."**

**"Thank you." Owain says, simply.**

**"However, I can't help but feel like you would have passed your Harrowing if you had attempted it." Aisabel says with a smile.**

**Owain studies her face and nods at her,"Thank you."**

**"You may not have emotions, Owain, but I get the feeling you let your nerves overcome you." she says, coming closer to him.**

**"I don't understand what you mean." Owain says, straight faced.**

**"I think your nerves made you feel like you couldn't pass, and, thus, you gave up." Aisabel explains.**

**"An interesting theory. I will have to think on that. Thank you." Owain says, looking down at her.**

**"Don't mention it, Owain!" Aisabel says with a smile,"Thank you for this insightful conversation!"**

**"You're welcome" Owain says, before turning to leave.**

**Aisabel continues talking, taking no notice to him leaving,"Most of the men in the tower can barely string together a few sentences..."**

**She takes a seat upon the ground, letting out her feelings and thoughts,"The templars will have nothing to do with me due to the Chantry.."**

**Owain stops walking and turns back around to face her, saying nothing.**

**"The other apprentices are too scared of magic and the magi of my level are too conceited to bother talking to one another." she says aloud.**

**"I tire of this tower.. I spend most of my time in the library where the characters in my books become my only true friends." she says sadly.**

**Owain takes a stand beside her place on the ground and continues listening to her.**

**"I dream of adventure and romance.. I would love to have a lover of my own. One whom can carry on a conversation with me.." she continues, taking no notice of Owain.**

**"I hate having the Chantry passages recited to me.. I hate having simple conversations.. I want to talk about the world. Talk about magic and how things came about. And, most of all, I want to experience passion. I want a lover who can provide all of this for me and make my life worth living..."**

**Aisabel sighs and small tears begin to stream down her cheeks.**

**She quickly wipes at her face,"I can see why someone would want to be tranquil. Look at me! Pathetic!"**

**Owain takes a seat beside her and hands her a handkerchief.**

**Startled, she takes the cloth from his hand and smiles at him,"Thank you.."**

**She slowly wipes her eyes off, but begins to cry again.**

**"You made valid points. Tranquility does have its merits." he says, watching her,"So, do emotions. Take yourself for example."**

**"What do you mean?" she asks him, sniffling a little.**

**"Your emotions cause you to question the world. Others should do the same." Owain says simply.**

**Aisabel blushes a little,"Thank you.."**

**"You're welcome." Owain says with a nod of his head.**

**"I.. I'm sorry for having mocked you these past couple of years." Aisabel says sadly,"I never knew just how fun you could be to talk to."**

**Owen nods his head at her as she hands him the handkerchief and he places it into his pocket.**

**"I'm sorry people make you feel this way." he says, standing up.**

**Aisabel's face burns a little as she stands up beside him,"Thank you.. I'll be fine, though.. I've survived it for eighteen years.. what's another eighteen more?"**

**"Come visit if our conversations interest you." Owain says, walking back towards the stockroom.**

**_"Will he even remember me if I do come back?" she thinks to herself,"But, what does it matter?! I may get to have another interesting conversation!"_**

**Blushing a little, Aisabel smiles at him,"If it wouldn't bother you.. I would love to come visit again!"**

**"I do not have the capacity to be bothered. I would welcome another visit if it provides you comfort for your troubles" Owain says, eyeing her from the entrance of the stockroom.**

**Aisabel's heart beats nervously in her chest,"Sounds wonderful! Would you mind if I came back tomorrow?!"**

**Owain nods his head at her,"You're welcome to come anytime."**

**"_Perhaps he'll let me examine the store room if I befriend him?!" she thinks excitedly._**

**With a big smile upon her face, Aisabel exits the room.**


	3. Chapter 2

After a long boring lecture on the life of Andraste, Aisabel had finally escaped her lessons for the day.

With a big smile, she ran to her dorm to place her books and writing equipment in her trunk.

Running through the door, she bumps into her lifelong friend, Jowan.

"What're you getting all excited about?" he asks her, heading towards her bed as she places her stuff into her trunk.

"I'm just excited to get out of lectures. Isn't that enough of a reason to be excited?" she says with a smile.

Jowan narrows his eyes at her.

"Come on, Aisabel! I've known you my whole life- You can't fool me!" he says with a smirk.

Aisabel sighs but ignores him.

Jowan rolls his eyes,"So, you're not going to tell your best friend anything, then?"

Rolling her eyes, she closes her trunk and sits upon it, crossing her arms against her chest.

"You've been ignoring me ever since you passed your harrowing." Jowan says angrily,"It's like you think you're better than me."

"That's not true, Jowan!" Aisabel says annoyed,"You know damn well we're equals."

"Well, you sure don't act it." Jowan says, his arms crossed across his chest.

Aisabel sighs,"Fine.. if I tell you what's got me so excited, you have to promise not to laugh."

An evil smirk spreads across Jowan's face.

"Oh, this is gonna be good!" he says, taking a seat beside her.

Aisabel blushes a little and looks down at her feet.

"Okay, so, you know how I haven't dated before, right?" she says nervously.

"You have a boyfriend, huh?!" Jowan says with a smirk,"I knew it was only a matter of time. Who is he?!"

Aisabel's face blushes a little redder,"I don't actually have a boyfriend.."

"Oh, so you have a girlfriend, huh? That's kinda hot!" Jowan says, patting her on the back.

"I don't have either." Aisabel says, becoming annoyed,"Would you just shut up and listen, Jowan?!"

"Alright. Alright. Sheesh!" Jowan says, patting her on the back.

"You see, there's someone here in the tower who's actually making me happy." Aisabel says with a smile.

"You little tramp! You've got a partner, huh?" Jowan says with a smirk.

"No, Jowan- I'm not.. sleeping with someone." Aisabel says, annoyed,"Do you want to hear what I have to say or no?"

Jowan takes the hint and pretends to lock his mouth shut.

"Thank you!" Aisabel says with a smile,"This.. person.. can actually carry on a conversation with me and I'm really excited about that."

Jowan glares at her,"A conversation? You're not getting any and you're getting excited over a conversation?!"

"Well, yes..." Aisabel says, blushing,"I always wanted someone whom I could talk to and who was a lover.."

"Ahhh.. I see... well, congratulations, I guess?" Jowan says with a shrug and stands up.

"You don't really care, huh?" Aisabel says, standing up.

"Eh, not really. It's not really exciting." Jowan shrugs,"Sorry I can't stay. Gotta meet up with Lily. See ya around?"

At that, he quickly rushes out of the room.

Aisabel sighs, glad to have him gone but kind of upset that her only friend didn't support her romance decisions let alone care.

Shrugging, she walks out of the dorm, slowly getting excited again.


	4. Chapter 3

Walking as quickly as she can, she makes her way through the halls and up the stairs to the Magical Stockroom.

As usual, the room is deserted save for Owain.

Aisabel's face lights up as she nervously walks up to him.

"Hello, again." Owain greets her as she approaches.

"Hi, Owain!" she says with a smile.

"How were your classes?" he asks her, folding his hands in front of him.

Aisabel blushes a little,"Okay.. they made us learn about Andraste's life. I'm not much of a fan for Chantry tales."

"I would have to agree with you." Owain says, simply,"I never found interest in Chantry stories either."

Aisabel leans against the pillar beside him and smiles,"I feel like I'm just bothering you."

"There is no one here at the moment. So, feeling that way is moot." he says, looking towards her.

Aisabel blushes a little,"Okay.."

She sits there for a few minutes, blushing and thinking of what to say.

Owain breaks the silence,"Your friend Jowan is quite unusual."

"Why do you say that?" she asks him, curious.

"He's always in the library alone." Owain says simply.

"Well, that's not that odd, Owain." Aisabel says, confused,"I'm always in the library alone, too."

"Not like this. Jowan says strange chants." Owain explains.

Aisabel's jaw opens,"Are you saying he's studying blood magic?"

Owain nods his head 'yes'.

Aisabel sighs and closes her eyes, leaning her head against the pillar.

"I'm sorry if I upset you." Owain says, simply.

Aisabel smiles at him,"Don't worry about it, Owain. I appreciate you telling me."

Owain nods at her again.

Aisabel nervously clears her throat a few time and stretches before coming to a stop in front of Owain.

"Hey, Owain, do you mind if I ask you some questions?" she says, nervously looking up into his eyes.

Owain stares back at her; his face blank,"Go ahead."

"Can tranquils.. fall in love?" she asks him, her face bright red.

"I have never felt love. I have never seen a tranquil feel love." Owain responds, causing Aisabel to frown,"So, I do not know the answer to that question."

Aisabel blushes bright red and quickly turns away from him.

"I can't believe I asked you such a stupid question!" Aisabel says, embarrassed,"I don't even know what love is."

"No question is stupid." Owain responds, placing a hand upon her shoulder,"We wouldn't be where we are now if we didn't ask questions."

Aisabel's heart beats in her chest at his touch.

Nervously, she tries to talk again,"Have you ever wanted to experience love?"

She braces herself for his answer, hoping he would say something interesting.

Owain remains silent for a few minutes.

Taking his silence as a bad sign, she mentally slaps herself.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you with such asinine questions!" she says nervously,"I'll let you get back to.. your silence.."

"Don't apologize." comes the stuttering voice of Owain.

Aisabel becomes confused by his response and turns to face him.

She gasps a little when she notices what appears to be confusion upon his face.

"Are you alright, Owain?" she says worriedly.

_"Oh, I hope my questions didn't.. break him or something!"_

She cautiously takes a few steps towards him, staring at his face the whole time.

"I thought about.. love before I was tranquil." Owain says, his face in a twisted expression.

"Oh! So, you were a dreamer, too?" Aisabel says, blushing.

"I'm still a dreamer." Owain says,"While I can't dream, I still have aspirations."

"I'm curious as to what you aspire to do, Owain." Aisabel says excitedly.

Owain thinks for a moment, then says,"I always wanted to leave the tower."

Aisabel smiles,"I can't blame you! I've wanted to leave the tower ever since I was able to read."

Owain nods at her,"I was the same way, too."

"Did you have any other aspirations?" Aisabel asks curiously, standing very close to him.

Owain silently stands there, appearing to think some more.

"I believe I was like you, in a way." Owain says after a few moments of silence.

Aisabel blushes brighter,"No wonder I like talking to you, then!"

She smiles at him, then quickly averts her eyes.

"You seem to be embarrassed by something." Owain says, noting her behavior.

Aisabel waves him off, trying to hide her face,"It's not what it looks like.."

"Might I inquire as to why you are embarrassed?" Owain asks her.

Unable to take her nervousness anymore, she makes up an excuse to leave.

"Uh, I just remembered something I had to do!" she says quickly, avoiding his gaze.

"It was interesting talking to you." Owain says simply.

Ignoring him the best she can, she rushes out of the room.


End file.
